.png)
When you think about school, textbooks and assignments are probably the first things that pop into your mind. Yet, school is more than that: it’s where students learn to interact with others in what’s known as secondary socialization.
The social skills students obtain in their school years will play a crucial role throughout their lives. They’ll impact their academic and professional outcomes, relationships, and overall success.
Here’s what social skills are, why they’re important, and how to foster them.
What Are Social Skills, and Why Are Social Skills Important in School?
The term “social skills” is an umbrella: it refers to all the abilities we need to interact with others competently, effectively, and appropriately. The APA definition also highlights that social skills allow us to distinguish and adapt to a given social context.
As humans are social animals, the ability to communicate and form relationships is crucial for leading a fulfilled life. In school, in turn, better social skills correlate with higher academic achievements.
Benefits of Social Skills for Kids, According to Research
U.S. schools are increasingly adopting social and emotional learning (SEL), with 83% of principals stating their schools use an SEL curriculum. Here’s how incorporating SEL practices can help kids achieve more and lead more successful lives.
Better Academic Performance
Early research into the benefits of SEL curricula in particular showed that not only do SEL participants show stronger social skills, but they also perform better academically. In fact, they gained an average of 11 percentile points. (The study concerned all age groups from kindergarten to high school.)
Higher Chances of Success Later in Life
Another study looked into the correlation between social and emotional skills in kindergarten and life outcomes 13 to 19 years later. Researchers discovered that children with higher social competence were more likely to obtain a college degree and be employed full-time in young adulthood.
Stronger Social Connections
Social skills also help children make friends early on, and those friendships can be beneficial later in life. One study found that adults who had at least one childhood friend were less likely to experience internalizing symptoms, even after controlling for sociodemographic factors.
10 Essential Social Skills for Kids
As we mentioned earlier, the term “social skills” is a catch-all for the many abilities that we need to communicate with others. Here are the 10 key ones that are invaluable for children, both now and in the long run.
Sharing
Children of different ages may have different attitudes toward sharing. Three-year-olds readily share rewards with peers, while children ages 3 to 6 are often more selfish if sharing comes at a cost. Praising children for sharing their toys or materials helps foster their willingness to do it again.
Taking Turns
Turn-taking is another skill that children have to learn; it’s not an innate reflex. It stems from patience and empathy. You can teach children to wait for a turn by playing card or board games or incorporating turn-taking into routine activities (e.g., choosing what music to put on).
Following Instructions and Rules
Children who struggle with directions or rules will have difficulties navigating both the academic and professional worlds. Besides, the inability to follow instructions can also lead to misbehavior or poor grades for homework.
Important: Before you can teach a child to follow directions, make sure you’re good at giving them.
Listening
Without properly listening to what the other person is saying, it’s impossible to have a productive conversation or empathize with them (which is crucial for building relationships). Besides, it should come as no surprise that absorbing what teachers are saying helps students perform better in school.
Working Together
Achieving a common goal as a team requires cooperating, i.e., working together. As a skill, it involves contributing and taking initiative, giving others room to contribute as well, and helping each other out. Collaborating is integral to participating in communities, playing team sports, and working in most, if not all, jobs.
Empathy
Putting yourself in another person’s shoes is the prerequisite to showing compassion. Empathy is broadly divided into:
- Affective empathy: Understanding others’ emotions
- Cognitive empathy: Understanding others’ perspectives and opinions
Playing with dolls, for example, has recently been shown to be more effective at fostering empathy than playing games on a tablet.
Problem-Solving
Yes, this is part of SEL skills: good problem-solving skills improve not just the child’s self-efficacy but also their interactions with others. That’s because problem-solving is part of healthy conflict resolution. To foster this skill, start with teaching self-regulation, i.e., the ability to regulate one’s own emotions.
Self-Control
Speaking of self-regulation. Recognizing and managing emotions is also the precursor to self-control (e.g., not throwing a tantrum when feeling frustrated). Lack of self-control is typically associated with addictive behaviors and legal troubles. That said, self-control also goes hand in hand with better academic outcomes, a sense of self-worth, and stress resilience.
Respect
What counts as “personal” differs from culture to culture, but respecting those boundaries is nonetheless important. That goes for others’ personal space, belongings, and feelings. Respect starts with empathy, but it goes deeper than that. It means accepting others and treating them with dignity, despite any differences that may exist.
Gratitude
Showing appreciation for others’ actions isn’t just about saying “thank you” (although that’s also important). It’s about noticing those actions, feeling grateful, and expressing that gratitude. Grateful children tend to be happier and also grow into happier, more hopeful adults. Gratitude in general is also associated with better psychological and physical well-being.
How to Develop Social Skills in Students: Five Tactics
Compared to teaching even the toughest subjects, helping students develop their social skills may seem like the biggest challenge. After all, there are no assignments to grade or tests to administer. That said, these five tactics are a good place to start.
Encourage Reading
Early literacy, including reading, builds empathy, improves emotional regulation, and promotes self-confidence. Reading together with someone (e.g., a parent) also fosters social skills through communication. One study suggests that when parents also pause for questions, children develop a better understanding of others’ perspectives.
Foster Habits
Teaching a skill through a game or activity once isn’t enough; this skill must be habitual for students. Reinforce the skill by encouraging students to practice it every day with their peers (e.g., during group activities). Remember to model the behavior and draw attention to it.
Discuss Social Skills
Explaining the “why” behind sharing, taking turns, or following instructions helps students understand the importance of adopting certain behaviors. Explicitly labeling the child’s emotions, in turn, helps them recognize those emotions on their own later on.
To kickstart a conversation about social skills, use age-appropriate stories or real-world examples.
Praise Students When Appropriate
Praise is a form of positive reinforcement, and it can be an effective tool for fostering certain habits. So, praise students for behaviors you want them to repeat, like sharing a toy or showing gratitude. Make sure to be specific and genuine.
Focus on Real-World Situations
You can’t teach social skills by sharing abstract theories. Students have to learn them in practice; there’s no other way around. So, create opportunities for students to practice specific social skills through activities that require prosocial behavior.
In Closing
Between lesson plans, assignments, and tests, building the social skills of students can be a tall order. That said, after family, school is the main place where children socialize. It’s also where they come across peers of all backgrounds and learn to interact with them, both in class and on the playground.
If you want to dive deeper into teaching SEL skills in class, check out your state’s policy and discuss SEL curricula with your principal or school board.
FAQ
